Rejected

I've known for a while now that this day would come, I was just hoping that it would be later rather than sooner. Caleb and I have enjoyed 10.5 months of nursing together. A few weeks ago I started giving him formula for 2 of his 4 feedings because I just wasn't producing enough milk for him. I continued nursing him first thing in the morning and before bed, but tonight he rejected the night feeding, and I just knew that it was over.

It was about a year ago that Andrew and I attended our Introduction to Breastfeeding class. I went in to the class thinking, "I'll give it a shot, and if it doesn't work out then I'm okay with giving formula." I came out of the class knowing that I was going to nurse my child for as long as I could. I am fortunate in that I never experienced any problems other than supply issues in the last few months. It was never painful or stressful. In those early weeks when emotions were running high it was the one thing that I knew I was doing right. We gave it our best shot together, and I think that's all I could have hoped for even though I was hoping to make it a bit longer. I'm proud of myself for making it this far. I'm happy to say that (knock on wood) Caleb has yet to be sick, and I know that is in part due to nursing.

So tonight is a little bittersweet. I'm not as upset as I would have thought a few months ago. I am sad that Caleb is growing up and no longer needs me in that way, but I am also looking forward to having my body back for a little while and to watching Caleb continue to grow and change into an independent little man.