Why?

Last night as I was driving home I heard the song "Why" by Racal Flatts on the radio. I had heard it once before and realized it was about suicide, but it didn't have the effect on me then that it did this time. This time was different. A few weeks ago, on a Monday, there was a suicide on the campus where I was a student and where I now teach. When I first heard about it I said a prayer for the family and friends of those who had lost and didn't know why. I also said a prayer for people who are in that dark place in their lives that they would find someone to turn to so that it wouldn't come to that for them.

As expected, the campus was in an uproar in the days that followed. I usually spend Tuesday mornings at home with C, and the day following this tragedy was no different. On my way in to my office, just about two hours before I was scheduled to teach, I picked up the campus newspaper to discover that I knew the person involved in the tragedy. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was shaken up for a few days. When I heard this song, it took me right back there and it also reminded me of a woman from my childhood. Hillary was a softball coach for one of the other teams in my league when I was about 10 or 12. The girls on her team loved her and thought she was a great role model, but she tragically took her own life before the start of the next season leaving everyone asking, "Why?" I still think of her periodically and wonder if things might have been different if someone had only known the heartache that she secretly felt.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this post except to say that it makes me realize how one person can touch the lives of so many people without ever having a clue. I think if we all took the time to tell people how we feel everyday and how we are touched even by strangers, the world would be a better place to live.


Why by Rascal Flatts

You must have been in a place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
mmmmm

Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen as a 17 year old
Rounding third to score the winning run
You always played with passion no matter what the game
When you took the stage you shined just like the sun

Oh why that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
Oh God only knows what went wrong and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
Yeahhhhh

Now the oak trees a swaying in the early autumn breeze
The golden sun is shining on my face
Tangled thoughts I hear the mocking bird sing this old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh, there's no comprehending and who am I to try judge or explain
But I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight
They were wrong
They lied
Now your gone and we cry
It's just not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song