Mom's Night Out - The Results

Cortney "they called me Picasso in another life" T's birthday plate for Easton


Danielle "isn't it a little early for Christmas" T's Christmas platter


And my "I don't have an artistic bone in my body" special day plate for Caleb

Streaming Tears

Today I took on the most difficult portion of my dissertation, the dedication. I've come to a crossroads in my life, and this is my opportunity to thank everyone who has gotten me to this point in my life. There aren't words in the english language to express my gratitude. Still I sit here, with tears streaming down my face, trying to find the words to say, "thank you" to the family who means the world to me.

Trip to the Zoo

On Saturday, we took Caleb to the zoo for a change of scenery and to take advantage of the nice weather before it gets so blistering hot that even the animals don't want to be outside. Thanks to a nice long nap right before we left the house, C managed to stay awake almost the entire time we were there despite not being able to see very much from the stroller.

In the 'tree' house getting an up close view of the giraffes. (Man, my nose is huge.)




Checking out the otters.


Later that day, during our nightly talk with Memaw, Caleb tried to figure out why Memaw's voice was coming out of that cool toy called a cell phone.

Mom's Night Out

Friday night I had my first night out alone since Caleb was born. Our mommy group went to As You Wish to paint some pottery. Everyone made beautiful pieces of art! We had a blast together, and I can't wait to do it again. Thanks to Karina who took these pictures!

All the ladies and their pottery pieces.


The plate that I made for Caleb's future "special days" like bringing home a good report card, winning a baseball game, celebrating a milestone like losing a tooth, or whatever other great things he accomplishes in his life. Thanks to Cortney who did the embellishments to the colored circles. (Do you think he'll want to eat off of this the day he graduates from college?)

Do you find this weird?

Caleb and I made a trip to our local Walmart today. Ok, so it's one of, like, three Walmarts within 10 miles of our house. We're so spoiled living in the 'suburbs' of the fifth largest city in the country. Anyway, we were looking to buy a foam mat like this one, but were unsuccessful at finding it in this particular Walmart location. I haven't been in a Walmart in years (because we live across the street from Target, so why drive the ~3-10 miles to a Walmart? Did I mention that I was spoiled?), so it was news to me when on our way out of the store I saw a nail salon INSIDE of the Walmart. There it was right next to the hair salon and Walmart optical center. Wow...and I thought having an optical center in a Walmart was strange. Am I the only one who wouldn't consider letting someone in Walmart give me a pedicure?

Today's Meetup Was

HUGE! A big thanks to Karina for hosting today. I believe there were 13 moms with babies in attendance. Here are a few pictures from the event.

Look at all those babies! (click on the pictures to enlarge)



Caleb and Evie - future prom dates?


Caleb has become known as the one who sticks out his tongue. Daddy taught him that!

Visitors

Last week Aunt Katy and Cousin Nick visited from St. Louis. The last time they were here Caleb was only 2 months old, so this time there was a lot more interaction between Caleb and Nick. We all had a great time together. We went to the train park, rode the new light rail, went mini golfing and to an ASU baseball game, and rode on Pop Pop's boat a few times.

Nick and Caleb had lots of fun playing with cars.


Mini golf


Out on the lake on Pop Pop's boat. (Don't worry he was only sitting alone once we were docked and taking pictures. I was right next to him.)


Uncle Andrew and Nick blowing bubbles off the side of the boat.


Then we tried to take a picture of the grandkids together. Caleb did great, but we had to bribe Nick with 'gold monies' (provided by the light rail change machine) to get pictures this 'good.' Ahhh the joys of life with a 3 year old. I guess that's what we have to look forward to.



Caleb even got to drive the boat.

How Awesome Is This?

I'm graduating with my PhD and the president (not ASU president Michael Crow) the President of the United States, Barack Obama, will be speaking at my commencement ceremony! If I wasn't planning on attending before, I'm certainly planning to attend now!

Eleven

What is how many hours Caleb slept last night?

That's right folks, after the baseball game last night (a big ASU win over rival U of A!!!) Caleb came home and slept from 9pm to 8am! Andrew and I didn't know what to do with ourselves after about 6am, so we just got up. But it was so nice to have the ability to sleep in on a weekend finally!

I almost died today

blowing up this gem of a toy bought for Caleb by his Aunt Katy. Man, I need to work out.

6 Months

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I've been thinking about this day since September because I knew it was also the day that Caleb would be turning 6 months old. I can't believe that we got here so quickly. This morning we went to visit the doctor for a well visit. Here are the stats:

Height: 27.5" (90th percentile)
Weight: 17lb 4oz (50th percentile)
Head: 25th percentile (up from 10-15th percentile)

So apparently he's thinned out a bit? In other well visit news, the doctor says he'll be a "late teether" with teeth arriving sometime around 8+ months. Seriously? I swear that I feel the beginnings of teeth in there. Doc said he could be wrong. I guess only time will tell.

The doctor says that he's, "tall and thin." Looks pretty chubby in the cheeks if you ask me. You be the judge...

With 'stuff' in his mouth aka how he looks most of the time now



Showing off his sitting skills


An 'almost' smile (not a full smile due to the 'freaked out' pose)

Thoughts on Procrastination

If you haven't noticed already, I can be pretty long winded about things. Apparently this is one of my personality traits according to the Myers-Briggs test. Andrew and I took this test during our premartial counseling with the pastor at our church. It was not something that I expected to be doing as part of religiously based premarital counseling, but it ended up being incredibly informative. After scoring our tests, Pastor Steve counseled us on what the results meant in terms of us individually and the ways in which we interact with one another. It was not the first time that I had taken the test, but it was the first time that someone had taken the time to analyze it in that much detail for me. It was crazy how "on" he was when describing things that we both do. There were a few "aha" moments when we looked at each other and said, "Oh, that's why you do that!" Needless to say it was a fabulous experience, and three years later I'm still talking about it.

So what does all of this have to do with procrastination? Part of the test puts you on a continuum from Judging at one end to Perceiving at the other end. I came out WAY over on the Judging side. According to Pastor Steve, this means that I plan everything. I like to get things done in advance, and do not procrastinate! I remember him lamenting that he wished he was more of a Judging personality rather than the highly Perceiving personality. He told us that due to his perceiving personality, he actually figures out exactly how much time he thinks it will take to write a sermon, and then counts back the hours until it is due. That is the time he starts working on it, and not a minute sooner. Now, while I do like to plan things in advance, I also find that I often (read: ALWAYS) procrastinate on things. I will find just about anything else to do in order to not have to work on something with a firm deadline. In college, I would do physics homework so that I didn't have to study for organic chemistry (go ahead, laugh!).

I'm noticing more and more over the years that I will procrastinate until the last possible minute. Somehow I always manage to get everything finished (even up to my high standards) in time. It is almost like I subconsciously know that I don't really need to start working on something with my full focus just yet. Unfortunately, this doesn't give me any level of satisfaction or relaxation. The whole time I'm procrastinating, I'm also stressing that I haven't been working enough. Thank God Andrew is supportive of me in this, or he probably would have divorced me/not married me in the first place. Did I mention that if it weren't for him, I'm pretty sure I would have quit this a long time ago? I think he secretly wants to be married to a "doctor."

SO...all that just to say...I managed to get a bunch of work done on the dissertation this weekend, but have you noticed the new blog background and header?

Proofreaders Needed

Anyone up for proofreading 200-ish pages of scientific jargon? Don't let the number scare you. Eight of those pages are references, and probably 50-75 of them contain figures/tables. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

St. Patrick's Day Pictures

Cortney, one of the moms in my mommy group, took some fabulous pictures of Caleb and the other babies at our meetup on Wednesday. This month's theme was St. Patrick's Day. I'm hoping to have Cortney take some more pics of Caleb, Andrew, and I sometime soon so stay tuned!

But there was a hitch...

...my baby got switched and I went home with...a little boy! Caleb and I went to another mommy group meetup yesterday where he got to play with 11 other babies. It was so much fun to see them all interacting together. When I joined the group, I never imagined how beneficial those interactions would be at this young age (although I figured they'd be great when he's a bit older). Boy did I learn a lesson in baby development. When we left for the group yesterday morning, Caleb 1) hated tummy time and 2) was on the verge of sitting unassisted, but wasn't there yet. By the time we got home in the afternoon, he was really enjoying tummy time holding his head up high and looking around AND he now sits on his own (although I'm not ready to leave him like that without loads of pillows piled around). I swear I traded my baby while we were at Cortney's house. And it isn't just Caleb who has been affected by the playdate air. Another baby, Grace, started rolling over back to belly while we were there. I'm so amazed! I love this fabulous group of women and babies!

Here are a few shots of Caleb from his day today with GranB and Pop pop.

More of the "Freaked Out" look

Freaked Out!

I guess the flash is pretty scary...

9 Years

Exactly 9 years ago today, Andrew and I went on our first date. I still remember it like it was yesterday.

September 1996
We met at the beginning of our sophomore year in high school in Mr. Labecki's honor's english class. Andrew sat behind me, and let's just say that I developed a little crush right then and there. Throughout high school we were friends, but never spent time together outside of school.

Fast forward to senior year of HS
I have a vivid memory of driving along in my old car (1986 Toyota Camry) with a group of my girlfriends. For some reason, the only person I clearly remember having the car is Katia who was in the back seat. Anyway, we were discussing whether or not we thought we had already met the person that we would marry. Not wanting to be a huge nerd, I said no. But in my mind (and in my heart) I thought it might be Andrew.

Fast forward to Freshman year of college
Andrew had gone away to school at ASU all the way across the country. One day in the fall, I was walking across campus at Susquehanna and saw a kid outside who was wearing his hat backwards (classic Andrew). Immediately, I thought of him and lamented that I'd probably not see him unless at a reunion. Through an interesting twist, my now ex-boyfriend who also went to HS with us ended up helping me to get in contact with Andrew. Hours and hours of phone calls, instant messages, and emails later we decided to go out on a date when our spring break vacations overlapped for a short weekend.

March 11, 2000
I left my sister's volleyball tournament early to drive from York to Harrisburg to meet up with Andrew, his best friend Chris and Leah (Chris's girlfriend at the time). After dinner and a movie and hours of talking we said good night. We survived three and a half years of super long distance followed by another year of relatively short long distance dating. And the rest is history. Happy Anniversary, Andrew!

Sad, but true.

This got me thinking, so I did some research of my own:

In my department there are 45 Tenure Track Faculty. Just 10 of those (22%) are females. 2 of those are from the US. Of those 1 is not a chemist and the other is jointly appointned with another department.

Ewwww...is that drool on the keyboard?

For a while now, Caleb has been content to sit on someone's lap while at the computer. Just within the last day or two he's become interested in the keyboard. I imagine him thinking, "You put both you hands on there and then just bang around a bit. I can do that!" And the next thing I know he's lunging forward to do just that. Today I finally opened a word document to record the event. Apparently I was wrong. Not only did he want to bang around, he wanted to get the keyboard in his mouth. His first attempt is a bit shorter than my dissertation, but I'm certain that it is more likely to be read and understood by the vast majority of blog readers. So, without further ado Caleb's first document:

./ xccccc\
XX’\/NB NOP-[0K9U8NHM

Well THAT Didn't Work!

So, Andrew went out of town for work Wednesday and Thursday this week, and Caleb and I were alone Wednesday night. Normally, Caleb needs to take an evening nap. He goes down between 5 and 6, and we usually have to wake him up to play a bit before doing his bedtime routine and putting him down for the night. Wednesday night I decided that since C had taken a nice long nap ending around 4:30pm that I would just try to get him to stay up until his bath at 7/7:30. I was hoping that this would mean he'd be good and tired so he'd sleep in until at least 6. This shouldn't have been too much of a long shot since he'd slept until 7 on Monday and Tuesday morning. It was the first time that Andrew had left town overnight since C started sleeping through the night, and I was really looking forward to the full night of sleep while taking up an entire queen size bed myself. SO you can imagine my disappointment when I was awoken at 2:15 and again at 3:45. Fortunately, he went right back to sleep with his paci both times, but as I was walking back to bed for the second time, I said a little prayer to ask God to let me sleep until 5. Apparently he was listening, because my little "alarm" went on at 5:00 on the dot. Lesson learned, experiment failed, and the evening nap is back on.

The Cost of Children

Another post that I received by email. In this crappy economy, it is easy to fall into a downward spiral when thinking about all the costs associated with a child, but the endless smiles make it worth every penny!


The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month,
* $171.08 a week.
* A mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is; don't have children if you want to be 'rich.' Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140.00?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs,
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies, and
* wish on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat in history to witness the:
* First step,
* First word,
* First bra,
* First date,
* First time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!

Children are the best investment you'll ever make!

Received by email

Raising Children
by Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief.

I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast.Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon, and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages, dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, and finally what the women on the playground, and the well-meaning relations -- well what they taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything.
One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.
When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome.

To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago pouring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made.They have all been enshrined in the "Remember-When-Mom-Did " Hall of Fame.The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs.The times the baby fell off the bed.The times I arrived late for preschool pickup.The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp.The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, "What did you get wrong?" (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1.

And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top.

And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me awhile to figure out who the experts were.

It's Official

My committee has agreed on a defense date. The big day will be Monday, April 20th at 10am. I don't know whether to cry, vomit, or jump up and down with excitement. I should probably just skip all that and get straight to writing.

Leave a comment, people!

I've always been one of those people who enjoys receiving mail. To this day, when my sister and I are both at my parent's house when the mail arrives we fight over who gets to go get it. Ummm...neither of us live there anymore, and I'm fairly certain that none of said mail belongs to either one of us. Still, the excitement of "getting the mail" remains. My mother-in-law calls this the "mail" gene (my father-in-law has it too). Although, it apparently wasn't passed down to Andrew. Before we lived together, I'd find piles and piles of mail sitting on the kitchen table when I'd come for a visit. The least he could do is get the junk mail to the trash can, but that doesn't happen either.

So, my point in all of this...receiving blog comments is just as exciting as receiving mail. Even more so probably because I'm not likely to discover any bills! So, if you're coming to be entertained reading about my exciting life, then leave something to entertain me too.

I have WMD

That's Worried Mothers Disease.

Symptoms: Asking yourself questions like, "Why isn't my child awake yet? Did the peas he ate for the first time yesterday cause a silent allergic reaction in the middle of the night? Was there a piece of plastic in the peas container that he had somehow swallowed without pain, but now is causing his stomach to bleed? Am I playing with my child enough? What if I am playing with him too much? I should be talking to him more, but what do I say? What if he's not smart because I didn't talk enough/play enough/played too much and didn't let him be independent?"

Onset: Symptoms typically occur shortly after the birth of one's first child; however, some patients may notice symptoms immediately after a positive pregancy test.

Treatment: There is no known cure for WMD. Some fathers have found success treating their ailing WMD wives with a straight jacket and tranquilizer. Lots of alcohol might also do the trick, but this won't help those breastfeeding with WMD.

As of 6:30 this morning, I officially self-diagnosed myself with WMD. Last night we went to another ASU baseball game. This makes four games that Caleb has attended since Thursday, with one more planned for later today. He's been such a champ and everyone loves him. We've gotten off of his bedtime schedule a bit, and we weren't quite sure how that would affect his sleep. The past few days, it hadn't affected things at all. No matter what time we get him home and into bed, he still wakes up at 5:00am. This was getting a bit frustrating for Andrew and I since we were getting less and less sleep. Last night we got home from the game, gave him a bath, gave him a talk about sleeping until at least 6am, nursed him, and got him to sleep just before 10pm. At 10:20, I was ripped from my sleep to my child crying in pain. I still don't know what the cause of that was, but I checked his diaper and nursed him back to sleep. The first time I heard him after that was shortly after 5am. I thought for sure he'd be up for the day, but not another peep was uttered. A little after 6am, the loudest emergency vehicle I've ever heard came barreling down the street adjacent to our house. Andrew and I were again ripped from sleep, but not a peep from Caleb. Of course, at that point I couldn't go back to sleep, my mind filled with worry from the dreaded WMD. I begged Andrew to let me go check on him, but being the level headed dad that he is, he assured me that Caleb was fine. Oh, and if he wasn't fine, what was I going to be able to do about it? Thanks, that made me feel so much better. Fortunately, Andrew was right (as usual) and everything was fine. Caleb finally woke up around 7:15 this morning. Oh, how I'd love it if this were the start of a new "sleeping in" trend!